A year in review

A little more than a year ago I had an epiphany.  Okay, I had a crazy idea to lose weight - 40 lbs. to be exact, by my 40^th birthday.  I called it My Journey to 40 and Fabulous.  My intentions were good, but the pressure that I put on myself was not.  

Long story short, over the past year I have tried.  I failed.  I made excuses and failed again.  But instead of giving up, I tried again and this time I was successful at doing the things that started me on this journey – being a role model for my family and learning to eat healthier so that I can prolong my time on this earth with them.

Month after month, you patiently listened and supported me on this journey and I am grateful for your readership.  I hope that you continue to read on because my journey is not yet over.

 On April 1^st I began an intense 90-Day Fitness Challenge after being selected one of six contestants to participate in the program.  The program, which would normally cost me $1,500 for nutritional assistance, gym access and a personal trainer, was graciously offered to the six of us for free by The Institute of Health and Fitness here in Chula Vista (http://theinstituteofhealthandfitness.com/blog/), AKA Body By Bobbie.

After almost being disowned by my family and friends, who saw very little of me these past three months, I emerged a new woman.  June 23^rd marked our 90^th day and the six of us, along with our personal trainers and the gym owners ended it with a celebration to reflect on all the hard work that everyone put in to reach their weight-loss goals and our plans for the future.

Although I did not win the challenge, I still came out a winner.  I lost a total of 24 lbs. and 7 percent body fat, which is the most important piece of the equation.  Don’t get me wrong, I still want to lose 40 lbs., but my main focus is to get my body fat percentage to about 22-25 percent.

You see, it’s all about burning fat and gaining muscle.  Not to sound braggy or anything, but I can’t wait to show you the before and after photos.  You will be amazed at my body’s transformation.  I could not have done it without the help from Bobbie and Ty Valkanas, owners of BBB, and of  course, my personal trainer Valeria Cieja, who not only trained me, but taught me some sign language along the way.

Because of these wonderful people, I have regained control over areas of my life where I felt I lost all control – my eating habits, poor choices and appearance.  Now, after 90 days of continuous pain, lots of sweat and tears, my confidence is soaring through the roof at the notice of my weight-loss from random gym goers who have sweated along the side of me during those grueling work-out sessions.

 I’ve lost weight before, but never like this.  The best part of it is that my family was there with me every step of the way to see me through. They each sacrificed their extracurricular activities, family time and play dates with friends so that I could live in the gym. 

I know that in their eyes, I am a winner.  They arose Saturday morning for my last day of boot camp as a 90-Day contestant and cheered me on as I ran down the road hoisting a pole of unknown weight on my shoulders.

 My husband joined me in the day’s activities.  My son, who is usually all about himself,  walked with me as I continued to hold said pole while doing several laps of walking lunges (forwards, sideways and possibly backwards) around the parking lot of the facility.  He gave me words of encouragement like “Wow mom, you look really skinny.  I just noticed all of the muscles in your legs and how flat your stomach looks.  You look really strong,” he said.

Coming from the kid who can be brutally honest about everything, that was all I needed to get me through the last leg of lunges.  Lastly, there was my sweet Ladybug, who was waiting inside the gym to do her part.  

We ended the boot camp as a family doing push ups and sushi rolls. Don’t bother asking what kind of exercise it is.  Let’s just say I wasn’t as excited about doing it and I usually am about eating them.

With my baby girl and my son behind me, and my husband on the side of me, giving it their all to show their support, who could ask for a better ending to my challenge?  It was bitter sweet, really.

I was going to miss my new friends who became like family, but I couldn’t wait to get back to my old ones.  This past year has been full of gains and losses.  I am so happy to have lost some much needed weight, but grateful to have gained knowledge about myself; my health, my strengths and weaknesses and my faith.

What I learned through this whole process of my journey is that I am and always have been fabulous.  Duh, God made me that way.  The outter appearance of me doesn’t dictate that quality.  My belief in God and the many blessings that he bestowed upon me does.

 I also learned how to be humble in the face of my failures and successes.  Although the program itself came to an end, it’s the beginning for me.  I am on too much of a roll to stop now.

I’ll admit that I took a moment over the weekend to let loose and go off the menu for a bit, but you can believe I was right back on the saddle Monday morning giving it my all with a 3-mile run in the morning and finishing the day with an hour of boxing with the bag.

My life will forever be changed by this experience.  Even if I fall down, I know that I can get up because I have the right tools in which to do it, and for that, I will forever be grateful to the folks over at Body By Bobbie.

40 Days and Counting

Hello friends,

It’s been a while since I have blogged about my weight loss progress, but I assure you I have a good reason and it’s not because I’ve been slacking. 

In fact, I’ve been doing the opposite thanks to the folks over at the Institute of Health and Fitness, AKA Body By Bobbie. 

If you recall in my last blog I was selected as one of six candidates in the 90-Day Fitness Challenge to receive free nutritional and personal training. Their goal is to help me reach my goal by teaching me how to eat properly and providing lots of support and encouragement.

It’s too good to be true, right?  Why would someone offer up 90 days of free services to six people they don’t know? 

Well, because they want to give back to their community in a way that allows them to use their God-given talent to help people like me who REALLY need help.  I knew that I was in the right place when I walked into the gym and saw a small sign that reads:  Exercise Daily. Walk with the Lord.

Not only am I walking with him, but I’m lifting weights, running, boxing and doing all sorts of exercises with him.  And there’s not a moment that I don’t call out his name when I am tasked with doing pull-ups, push-ups or burpies.

In fact, my most recent talk with him was this past Saturday at about 20 minutes into my boot camp class.  You may have seen me if you happened to be driving by Fenton and Lane.  I was one of about 10 people running down the street with a plastic chair on my head.  Lucky for us it was a downhill trot. 


However, our return trip was not so easy.  We were tasked with 20 walking lunges while still balancing the chair on our heads.  The saving grace was the pause that we were given every 20 lunges.

 After the 20 lunges we were able to put the chair down and balance our bodies on the arms of the chairs for 10 push-ups.  Then we repeated the whole process all the way back to the gym.  Did I mention this was all on an up-hill-climb?

Despite the complexity of the task, I was determined not to be the last boot camper to return to the gym.   And I was starting to get a little full of myself knowing there was one other person trailing behind me; placing me at second-to-last, but not dead last.

It’s funny how God has a way of humbling me when I lose focus of what’s important.  My head was starting to swell when I heard the person behind me say, “Excuse me if I cheat a little bit,” and take a few steps to walk ahead of me.  It quickly deflated when I saw that the person was pregnant and she probably needed to go around me because I was the one getting in her way. 

 It was quite the reality check and I had to chuckle as my deflated head floated back to my body and realized that this is my journey and comparing it to that of others is not what it’s all about.  I did finish last, but the important part is that I finished and I have the aches and pains to prove it.

 What can I say?  No pain, no gain, right?  I have lots of pains, but they are certainly worth the gains I have experienced these past six weeks.  I am 14 lbs. lighter and several inches smaller with a 3.5 percent decrease in body fat.  My gain is the knowledge about how to better take care of my body through proper nutrition.  

Despite my success thus far, I am only halfway through the program and have so much more work to do, so it’s no time to celebrate.  I guess I will have to continue to walk with the Lord as I exercise daily.

Be sure to check out my progress by visiting: http://TheInstituteofHealthandFitness.com/blog

And the winner is ...

Here I go again!!!
About three months ago I entered a contest to participate in a 90-Day-Fitness where I could receive free personal training, including nutritional assistance to help me in my journey to loss weight.  All I had to do was write a 500-word essay explaining why I should be chosen to participate.  I could have easily gone for the juggler and talked about my family history with diabetes and the loss of my sister three years ago, in order to stand out from the rest, but I did not.  I decided to take a different approach to the task at hand, and guess what?  I was chosen!!!

Starting April 1st, the next 90 days are going to be crazy and hectic, but I am expecting great results.  My only hope is that I remember to call on God daily to help get me through as I try to balance time for me with taking care of a family.  The following is the essay that won me this wonderful opportunity that I would not otherwise be able to afford.

The 90 Day Fitness Challenge

Dear 90-Day Fitness Challenge,

My name is Nicole Trull and I would like to participate in your 90-Day Fitness Challenge because I believe it’s what I need to help me achieve the goal that I have been trying to reach for a couple of years now, but have not been successful for several reasons.

The first reason is the overwhelming and sometimes conflicting information that is put out there on how to properly lose weight.   I have found it frustrating to keep up with it all. 

It seems logical that if I “eat right and exercise,” the pounds will drop and I will be in a two piece bikini by summer, but unfortunately, it has not happened that way for me.  Heck, if I dropped a pound for every time I’ve heard that, I wouldn’t be in this situation, right? 

While I like to consider myself a “take charge” kind-of-gal who can get things done without someone holding my hand, I realize that when it comes to something as important as losing weight to get healthy (not to fit in the bikini), I need and want someone to hold my hand because the usual suspects that I have been trying are not working.  Not only do I do well when shown “what” and “how” to do something, I usually surpass the mark.  I guess it’s no coincidence I am a native of the “Show Me State.”

It’s certainly not for a lack of motivation. I have done some pretty crazy things to stay motivated, including signing up to run in a marathon.  I didn’t even like running, but I heard somewhere that it was the fastest way to lose weight.  I even raised some money for cancer research.  I figured, if I had a purpose, I would not give up.  And I did not. I ran in the Carlsbad Marathon after five months of training.  I learned how to run and lost 20 lbs. in the process – that was three years ago.

Last year I publicly announced to my family and friends that I intended to lose 40 lbs. by my 40^th birthday.  I called it My Journey to being 40 and Fabulous. My hope was to be held accountable if I made my goal public.  I even started a blog with weekly updates.  I turned 40 on Dec. 29^th. 

During my seven-month journey, not only did I gain knowledge that I was already fabulous, I gained 40 lbs.  Clearly, there was a flaw in my accountability plan.   However, aside from the extra weight, I gained a lot of knowledge about myself … like, in spite of it all, I refuse to give up.

I believe I have the right mental, physical and spiritual attitude, I just lack the knowledge and the funding on how to get there; which brings me to reason number two.  Did I mention that we are a one-income military family of four?

I am not perfect!

I have been on my journey to becoming 40 and fabulous for almost a year and I have learned that life is not just about getting one’s physical self in order.  It’s a spiritual, mental and physical journey.  I have found myself to be successful in some areas and not so successful in others.   There’s no need to name names because past blogs will direct you to my ups and downs.

However, through this journey, self-reflection has certainly become a regular in my thought process, which helped me discover the latest iniquity – I am not perfect.

It’s been a while since my last post, but what can I say?  I am not perfect, which is kind of what today’s blog is about if you haven’t guessed it already.

Meet Me.  I am a wife, a mother of two, sometimes three children, and I am not perfect.  I have friends, very good friends, people who I think are friends, and people who tolerate me for the sake of a loved one. 

My husband has been deployed for more than half of my children’s lives; since my youngest was three.  He is now 10.   

On a break from back-to-back deployments, now he lives four hours away from us.  We see him every other weekend.  If we are lucky, sometimes we get to see him two weekends in a row.

I have a child who is smart, but lacks motivation and direction, which is the nice way of saying lazy.  Sadly, he boasts of this fact and is proud of it.  I have another who is smart, talented and succeeds at almost everything, but lacks confidence.

Lastly, I have a child who I believe is smarter than the other two, but he has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  It’s a disorder that many, including those closest to me, believe is figment of my imagination, but is so very real.

Do I blame them for feeling this way?  No, because I used to be one of those people who thought the same way until it happened to me. 

Am I hurt by this?  Yes, because many are friends and family who know me well enough to know this is not something even I would make up for any amount of attention.  This lack of support and daily struggles with my child takes me on a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs. 

Although we may not be a perfect family, we certainly are one good-looking bunch.  Don’t you think?  

I know you are thinking, what does any of this have to do with my journey to being 40 and fabulous, and why am I telling you this? 

I am telling you this because this is the spiritual and emotional component of my journey.  Many of you are secretly thinking, “OMG, I can’t believe she is putting her business on a social media site for all to read.”  I don’t quite see it that way.  This is my way of humbling me before God and those who love me.

 Of course, some people will tell me to my face “You are so brave to put it all out there for all to read,” which translates to “Girl, you are crazy to put your business on the street!  I would never do that.”

Don’t get me wrong, I am not criticizing anyone’s response to the matter because everyone is entitled to their opinion and that’s not what this is about.  No matter what side of the comments you fall on, if sharing my story and revealing my imperfectness means I am helping someone who may be going through all, even one of the things that I am experiencing, then I have done God’s work. 

I am not brave. I am not perfect.  I am scared.  But this is my therapy and what was on my heart when I woke up this morning.  I am scared of the backlash or reaction that I may get from all who read this, but I am choosing to trust in God as he guides me on my journey to being 40 and fabulous.

Having My Cake and Eating it too!

It's been more than a month since I turned the fabulous 40 and I have actually lost 6 lbs. I know that I say this as if I am shocked at the results. Believe me when I tell you that I am. It doesn't help that my birthday is just four days after Christmas and three days before New Year's Day. Who loses weight or start a diet during the holidays?

Apparently, I do! Call it a last-ditch effort to shed a few pounds despite not meeting my goal, I was crazy enough to start a new diet one day before my birthday. I did this unbeknownst to my husband, who secretly worked for a month with my friends to plan a surprise birthday party.

Boy was I surprised. Not only did he put his heart and soul into throwing a party for me, it actually included a guest list of my friends (this is a story for another blog). I was especially surprised when he presented me with the most fabulous two-tiered birthday cake.

Surprised doesn't even describe my feelings about the cake. I was over the moon about it. This wasn't just any ole' cake. It was the one that caught my eye almost 14 years ago when we were shopping for our wedding cake. I wanted the three-tiered cake with the basket-weave design and he wanted something - let's just say, "cheaper."

You all know my addiction with sweets, so I don't have to tell you how hard it was to resist having a slice. But not having a slice meant hurting my husband's feelings and coming off as unappreciative of his hard work.

Planning the party without my knowing was one feat, but getting someone to recreate the design I so desperately wanted for our wedding cake was another. To hear him tell the story of how he had to search online and make a few phone calls, one would think he had to run the Amazing Race to get the job done.

Given all of this, I didn't have the heart to tell him and all of the people who showed up to help me celebrate this milestone that I am grateful for the gesture, but I won't be partaking in any of the delicious goodies, especially the cake.

The idea to make the birthday cake my long lost, but not forgotten wedding cake turned out to be a two-for-the price of one deal for hubby. No, he didn't get a discount. According to him, it cost him an arm and a leg.

It was a two-fer because it was a chance for him to show me that not only could he pull off such a task without any help from me, but that he was listening. It was one of his most romantic gestures in all of our 13 years of marriage. The bonus is that he did it in front of an audience of my friends. He gets extra kudos for that. It's sort of like getting roses delivered to your office on Valentine's Day for all of your coworkers to see.

The kicker was he didn't just roll out a cake with lit candles for all to sing happy birthday. Nope, he began with a story that went something like this: "Thirteen years ago ... I made a mistake by not listening to my wife because she is the smartest person I know.

Okay, so those weren't his exact words, but they are close enough. You get the idea. He simply explained had he known how important it was for me to have the cake with the basket weave design all those years ago (don't forget the butter cream frosting), he would have given me what I wanted.

Here's the clincher, he clasped his hands together as if he was praying to God, but I am pretty sure he was praying to me, and said, "I hope that this makes up for my ...," I don't quite remember the rest. I am sure he apologized for his insensitivity to my wants.

Who cares? I was so touched by his ingenious gift, I cried and kissed him. One would have thought he was proposing again.

Now, before you get all "that's so sweet" on me, because we both know it was, he didn't exactly go away empty-pockets either. The benefits of me finally getting my dream cake certainly outweighs the cost of any expensive cake.


He was able to redeem himself of a mistake he made years ago by being a groom who actually wanted some "say so" in how things went down for our wedding. Clearly he won on the cake. Oh yeah, and what dresses the bridesmaids will wear. Who knew, right?


Had he known then, what he knows now, I bet he would have just gone with the basket weave design to begin with. It would have saved him 13 years of hearing me complain about how much I regretted not having the cake of my dreams every time our anniversary or my birthday rolled around.


To make matters worse, we received a dish set with the basket weave design as a wedding gift. It was purely a coincidence, but added salt to the wound none the less. Eventually I sold them in a garage sale because I could not stand to look at the dishes any longer. They were a constant a reminder of how I did not get my dream cake. But was all of this madness really about the cake or something deeper, like giving in and settling for a less expensive and attractive cake?


Of course it was! Did I mention I have an addiction to sweets? The cake had the butter cream frosting just like I like it. The frosting was practically sliding off of the cake it was so buttery. A friend even added some finishing touches like fresh flowers just like the original. What's a girl to do? I had cake and it was delicious!


Oh the guilt! But my guilt didn't stem from me constantly thinking about how many calories I was consuming with every bite. It was from how I let something so petty like a cake design be even an inkling of contention in my marriage.


I am pretty sure it didn't eat away at hubby quite as much as it did me. It probably didn't eat away at him at all, but obviously he figured out he'd better do something to right my wrong or else he'd spend the rest of his life hearing about it.


Lucky for me God blessed me with a man who cared enough to rectify the situation no matter how silly it may be. He saw how important it was for me to have this cake because to me, it was perfect. Everybody knows nothing and no one is perfect, except for what we imagine in our mind. And God.


There's nothing left to say. Who can top God's perfectness? I guess this the part where I wrap up my story by talking about how I am also blessed to have lost any weight considering the holiday festivities and the boxes of Girl Scout cookies currently clogging up my dinning room. If you count negativity and holding grudges as weight, then let's add two more pounds to my total.


Now I am going to throw in a bunch of cliches like, it was better late than never, and having my cake and eating it too was so worth the wait.

Happy Birthday to me!

Okay ladies,

As the days to my 40^th birthday inched closer, I dreaded the ideal of having to disclose the results of my weight-loss journey.  For those of you who have tuned in since the beginning know that for the past seven months I have been working to lose 40 lbs. by my 40^th birthday.  I called it my 40 and fabulous campaign.  I’d be lying if I said that I decided to lose weight because I just wanted to be healthy.  Heck, I would love to be able to wear things like bikinis, spandex, tank tops and whatever else they make for skinny people.

But, the main reason is I wanted to be healthier so that I could extend my outlook on life with my children and their children to come.  I say this not to be dramatic, but because the reality of my family’s history with diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol is no joke.  My dad died at age 51.  My sister, God bless her soul, died two years ago today.  She was 51 as well. She was overweight for as long as I could remember and the diabetes took its toll on her kidneys to the point of deterioration and she needed dialysis.  I could go on and on about the various relatives in my family who have either one of the above or all three, but I won’t.  It’s not the legacy that I want to leave for my children.  I want them to see me work hard to be healthy so that when I talk to them about eating right, they know that I am speaking from experience.

This is not to say that I am not doing that already, but I fall short in some areas.  It’s not only important for them to see me modeling good habits, but also for them to see me work out my failures.

And right now ladies, I have failed when it comes to meeting my 40 lbs. of weight loss.  In fact, I am pretty sure that I may have gained 40 instead of losing them.  Sadly, the whole purpose of going public with this crazy way to lose weight was the thought of having to be held accountable to all who read my blog, which in return would give me the results I so desired.  Having to admit that I have failed at meeting my goal would be humiliating. Therefore, I will work my butt off to make my goal. 

At least, that is how I envisioned it.  But somewhere along the way, I discovered that as a Christian, I cannot separate parts of my life from my religious beliefs. I believe my pastor called it putting them into boxes and pulling out each box as needed.

During the past seven months I have experienced a variety of emotions that fueled my motivation to lose weight.  But none have been more powerful than that of my relationship with God.  

As I walk this path to becoming closer to God, my goal to lose weight, although still important, was no longer at the forefront.  I am embarrassed that I did not meet my weight-loss goal, but very proud that I am growing my relationship with God. By no means am I a perfect Christian because I go through phases of not reading my bible daily, but I am so much better than I was when I started my journey.  And speaking of my journey, I may have turned 40, but it’s not over. I will continue to fight the good fight of losing weight and keeping you posted with my struggles and successes.

As for the fabulous, I didn’t have to lose 40 lbs. to learn that I was already fabulous. However, I did learn that I am lucky to have a fabulous group of friends who are supportive, non-judgmental and not afraid to laugh, cry and share their experiences with me.

I have begun a new regiment to my weight-loss plan, so stay tuned for my New Year blog for more updates and comical tidbits to my on-going journey. Please have a safe and Happy New Year!

The Hangover

Before anyone passes judgement on this post because of its title, let me first point out that this story is nothing like the movie.


First of all, I didn't wake up in a hotel in Vegas with a tattoo.  Well, a freshly etched one anyway.  Nor did I have a missing tooth, an extra kid that's not mine or a Bengal tiger in my bathroom.

However, I did wake up in a hotel room with three other women; only one of which I knew, and she was sleeping in the bed across from me.  I, woke up next to her sister-in-law, with, you guessed it, a hangover.  Yep, it was some night, but it's not what you think.


It was a Christan Women's retreat called Momsanity and I had the pleasure of sharing this experience with women from my mom's small group and my church.  I don't know about anyone else, but for me, it was an over-night three-fer.  I got a break from the kids, a chance hang out with friends, and meet new ones.  I know, this still sounds a bit risk-ay, but bare with me for a few more sentences.


Momsanity, which cost about $100 bucks to attend, included an evening of hors d'oeuvres, drinks, if you were so inclined, mingling, breakfast the next morning, and our fabulous guest speaker Jen Hatmaker.  The only catch to this too-good-to-be-true deal is that you had to sleep four people to a room.  If you didn't indicate who you'd like to be paired with, ideally people you know, you had to bunk with strangers.  


Some folks would be a little bit skiddish about sharing a room with strangers, but for a relaxing night away from the kids and no bickering of who's being meaner and why, I'd do it.  And apparently I was not alone because there were about 100 women there ready to be fed, not only the swanky hors d'oeurvres, but the word of God.


Of course, nobody knows better than our guest speaker what a night out with the girls is like.  Hatmaker, an author of several religious books is also a mother of five.  My mom's group recently completed her book Tune In.  I found it to be enlightening.


As for Hatmaker and her message, she was awe-some!  Not only did she fill my soul with spiritual wisdom, she did it through some much needed laughter.  For a moment I thought I was at a comedy club because I just couldn't stop laughing.   


What I loved the most about her was how real and authentic she was about sharing with us her parenting and every day life.  She's not afraid to share the flaws or mistakes that she makes on her journey through parenthood and as a Christian.

I have heard friends describe me with those words, real and authentic, especially when I thought of this crazy idea to start a blog about my journey to becoming skinny again.  Ok, it's really not about being skinny again. Yes it is. Well, sort of, but not really.


The point is, at first I was not sure if it was a compliment or just a nice way of saying, "She is crazy, I certainly wouldn't put my business out on the street like that for everyone to hear."  The more that I heard this, I starting to second guess what I was feeling.

But then the messages started to trickle in from women from all walks of life, telling me how much they can relate to what I am going through; whether it be weight-loss related, military spouse issues or dealing with a child suffering from some sort of disorder, they poured out their hearts to me.  I read them all and they humbled me.


I knew that regardless of how this 40 and Fabulous Journey adventure turns out, my blog is serving a purpose that goes beyond me losing weight.  I know that it is helping to help heal my soul and hopefully helping others.


Now, when I hear someone describe me as real and authentic, I don't get offended.  I feel proud that I have enough real and authentic experiences ( I wouldn't recommend them for everyone) that  I don't know of any other way to be, especially if my story can help someone else.  With all of the drama that comes with my everyday, ordinary life, quite frankly, it's too much work to have to be anything other than ...


Besides, trying to be someone I'm not never really works out for me.  You guys saw how that little ditty turned out for me last spring with the hair weave and the wigs.  But let's not go there!


I'm guessing you want to know how does any of this have to do with how I woke up with a hangover?  So would I.


The truth is, I am not sure why I woke up with a raging headache, especially since I only had one Apple Martini and can remember the events of the night quite clearly.  None of which included the before mentioned wild animal and other bizarre happenings. 


It was just me and my girl Amie, her sister-in-law and another brave woman who dared to sleep with strangers to get a break from the daily grind.  The only thing I can think of is I must have gotten drunk on the words of our guest speaker.  It was some gathering.


In retrospect, the retreat gave me a nice little break from my 40 and Fabulous regime.  I am still pretty far off from reaching my 40-lbs-lost goal, but I am learning that I am certainly pretty fabulous.