As the days to my 40th birthday inched closer, I dreaded the ideal of having to disclose the results of my weight-loss journey. For those of you who have tuned in since the beginning know that for the past seven months I have been working to lose 40 lbs. by my 40th birthday. I called it my 40 and fabulous campaign. I’d be lying if I said that I decided to lose weight because I just wanted to be healthy. Heck, I would love to be able to wear things like bikinis, spandex, tank tops and whatever else they make for skinny people.
But, the main reason is I wanted to be healthier so that I could extend my outlook on life with my children and their children to come. I say this not to be dramatic, but because the reality of my family’s history with diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol is no joke. My dad died at age 51. My sister, God bless her soul, died two years ago today. She was 51 as well. She was overweight for as long as I could remember and the diabetes took its toll on her kidneys to the point of deterioration and she needed dialysis. I could go on and on about the various relatives in my family who have either one of the above or all three, but I won’t. It’s not the legacy that I want to leave for my children. I want them to see me work hard to be healthy so that when I talk to them about eating right, they know that I am speaking from experience.
This is not to say that I am not doing that already, but I fall short in some areas. It’s not only important for them to see me modeling good habits, but also for them to see me work out my failures.
And right now ladies, I have failed when it comes to meeting my 40 lbs. of weight loss. In fact, I am pretty sure that I may have gained 40 instead of losing them. Sadly, the whole purpose of going public with this crazy way to lose weight was the thought of having to be held accountable to all who read my blog, which in return would give me the results I so desired. Having to admit that I have failed at meeting my goal would be humiliating. Therefore, I will work my butt off to make my goal.
At least, that is how I envisioned it. But somewhere along the way, I discovered that as a Christian, I cannot separate parts of my life from my religious beliefs. I believe my pastor called it putting them into boxes and pulling out each box as needed.
During the past seven months I have experienced a variety of emotions that fueled my motivation to lose weight. But none have been more powerful than that of my relationship with God.
As I walk this path to becoming closer to God, my goal to lose weight, although still important, was no longer at the forefront. I am embarrassed that I did not meet my weight-loss goal, but very proud that I am growing my relationship with God. By no means am I a perfect Christian because I go through phases of not reading my bible daily, but I am so much better than I was when I started my journey. And speaking of my journey, I may have turned 40, but it’s not over. I will continue to fight the good fight of losing weight and keeping you posted with my struggles and successes.
As for the fabulous, I didn’t have to lose 40 lbs. to learn that I was already fabulous. However, I did learn that I am lucky to have a fabulous group of friends who are supportive, non-judgmental and not afraid to laugh, cry and share their experiences with me.
I have begun a new regiment to my weight-loss plan, so stay tuned for my New Year blog for more updates and comical tidbits to my on-going journey. Please have a safe and Happy New Year!
