40 and Fabulous

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I woke up with this new attitude. I was feeling so inspired to make a change in my life from the inside out, I decided to share it with those whom I care about.  I sent out a mass email to all of my friends, titled 40 and Fabulous.

The purpose of the email was to share my 40 and Fabulous mantra and how I came to be on a journey of losing 40 lbs by my 40^th birthday. Lucky for me I have until Dec. 29th.

For months I had this restless feeling about my life but could not put my finger on it. Was it my career or lack of one? Being married to a military man, we move about every three to four years and that makes it hard to advance in my career when I am constantly having to start over.

But that was not it. Was it my weight; my hairdo; my clothing? I got it, it was my choice of shoes. So I ditched the flip flops and bought a gladiator style shoe with a stiletto heel.

Now you’re talking. If that doesn’t say sexy and new, I don’t know what does - except for when I tried wearing them to the mailbox and slipped and fell. The fall wasn't because I couldn't walk in the stiletto. It was because I was trying to avoid dog poop and ended up taking a knee slide right into the puppy surprise.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," I thought as I limped away trying not to let the poop spread to any other party of my body. And certainly don’t let it get on the shoes!

But the truth of the matter is, I was feeling restless because it was time for a change. Unfortunately for me, the change was not for any of the above - well, sort of, but mostly for a new outlook on life. I go about my everyday life interacting with people and being friendly on the outside, but inside I was just barely hanging on.

The stress of dealing with the worries that go along with having a spouse deployed to a war zone, not once, but three times in a short period of time, and a child who is diagnosed with ADHD and OCD was taking its toll.

I was tired of putting on a front and keeping this secret of pretending to be fabulous, not just with my physical appearance (as if anyone couldn’t notice the weight gain), but my mental and spiritual state as well.

So I decided to fight the urge to give up and accept the current state of affairs. Giving up is not in my nature no matter how challenging life may be.

And so, I poured out my heart into an email and hit send. Thus began my new life of being 40 and Fabulous.